Admitting You’re Wrong 540.5
Last week I attributed to John Wooden nine promises that bring happiness. Several listeners were alert and good enough to inform me that the true source is the Creed of Optimist International, a service club dedicated to bringing out the best in children.
I appreciate the correction and apologize for my error.
Last week there was another candid admission of error that didn’t get the attention it deserved.
During a CNN interview, Richard Armitage, former deputy Secretary of State in the Bush Administration who revealed the name of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame Wilson to two reporters, was confronted with a pretty harsh tape of Mrs. Plame calling his actions foolish and irresponsible. In a refreshing display of honesty and accountability, Armitage agreed with his accuser. "She’s absolutely right," he said.
In this case, his frank acknowledgment enhanced rather than diminished his credibility.
So why is it hard for so many people to admit they’re wrong?
For many, it’s pure ego. Some people would rather lose plausibility than lose face. Never appearing wrong is more important than always being right.
For others, it’s about dodging the consequences for their conduct.
That’s why people lie about why they were late for an appointment, about whether they said something they shouldn’t have, or about other things that would subject them to criticism, disapproval or, worst of all, civil or criminal liability.
Yes, it’s unethical, but it isn’t irrational. The truth is, self-incriminating statements often can and will be used against us.
That’s why the real test of character is admitting we’re wrong when it’s likely to cost more than we want to pay.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
Michael,
To error is human but, to correct the error is something 90% of our society feels that there no reason to do so.
Thank you for being in the top 10%!!! Our world needs more top ten percent people to lead by example.
I'm one of the Optimist member that you didn't offend, in fact I was extremely pleased to hear you recite 9 of the 10 tenets of teh Optimist creed.
I'm been a subscriber for about a year now. Our local radio KNIA/KRLS carry's you daily segements and I something miss them so I subscribed to your daily updates.
Your ministry has touched the lives of many for the better!!!!
One last thing, I know that you are not a member of our organizations due to your error. I would ask you to check us out and attend an Optimist meeting near you. Your can check us out at optimist.org.
Your ministry and that of Optimist International have many of the same goals.
God Bless!!!!
Craig Kelley
Past Governor of the Iowa District 06/07
Certified New Club Builder
Posted by: Craig | November 15, 2007 7:19 PM
I know that I have told lies. To keep property that was rightfully mine. The lawyers and law makers make up new laws all the time and they get passed. This is wrong but will the lawyers and law makers admit it?
Posted by: ms Ortiz | November 17, 2007 10:38 AM
Not admitting to your actions is akin to lying to yourself. Self justification by creating a lie builds the wrong type of character. The truth takes courage and a selfless abandon toward being wrong. This article gives me hope that people will, and can find the courage to face their own actions. More people need to find that giving up can be positive and negative, and that the truth will always be the answer.
Posted by: Erick | November 18, 2007 6:35 AM
Dear Mr. Josephson,
I just listened to your commentary regarding people who admit fault and preserve credibility at the risk of losing face and how honorable it is to do so. You cited Richard Armitage’s recent admission to and foolishness of leaking Valerie Plame’s identity to reporters as an example of such strength of character.
While I wholeheartedly agree that such behavior is proper and I strive to live such a lifestyle myself, I am somewhat dismayed that you did not mention that Mr. Armitage made such an admission and agreement with Ms. Plame’s comments only after he had struck a deal for immunity from prosecution for leaking such information and coincidentally admitting the foolishness of his actions after Ms. Plame's civil suit had been dismissed with little likelihood of reassertion.
I believe you should have mentioned this in your commentary and perhaps Mr. Armitage would not have made such a fine example. I seriously doubt Mr. Armitage would have made such admissions were he to still face criminal liability, something you cited as a reason why some people do not admit their failings. While I normally enjoy your commentaries, I am somewhat disappointed that you did not raise this issue.
Posted by: Marco Del Chiaro | November 19, 2007 10:04 AM
Mr.Josephson,
I think admitting wrong is a difficult task for humans to do.We are usually on the right side of the way.We don't cosider ourselves wrog,But we see the other as wrong because they represent the different point of view.As humans ,we consider our own saying ,informatiom,and views right and nothing is wrong when we say it.I have noticed that one of my friends always says "no" to whatever anyone says because she always has something else to say "the opposite" to anything said by others.She is know considered a pain in the neck.No one wants to converse with her about anything.I think we need a lot of practice to admit our faults and to accept the others' point of views even if they don't match ours.
Thank you for discussing such issues.We need to figure out ways to face our faults!
Amina
' when we say it.
Posted by: Amina | November 22, 2007 5:15 AM