Sex and Ethics 549.5
I grew up during the sexual revolution. It was a philosophical and physical rebellion against entrenched social mores concerning everything from the propriety of enjoying sex to the condemnation of specific sexual activities, including pre- and extramarital relations.
Spurred by new concepts of feminism and the availability of the pill, more permissive attitudes toward casual or uncommitted sex became more prevalent. And, while not the norm, other conduct such as extramarital affairs and having children out of wedlock were more readily accepted as lifestyle choices.
Now it’s as if all choices involving sex are exempt from moral judgment.
It’s simply not so. While the values confining sexual activity to the marriage bed are deeply rooted in religion, sexual conduct involves major secular ethical considerations that go beyond religious views about chastity and fidelity. Since few actions have greater physical, emotional, and social consequences, choices concerning sexual conduct are ethical minefields.
Although many decisions about sex are private, when they affect others, the ethical dimension can’t be ignored. So if one betrays a trust or induces another to do so, that’s wrong. Same with irresponsible, dishonest, or disrespectful behavior that exploits others, inflicts emotional pain, jeopardizes relationships, or risks disease or unwanted pregnancy.
Sex isn’t inherently wrong. But given the stakes, it should be taken very seriously.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
You left something out of your article - CHARACTER. In our modern world I never would have expected our children to be virgins when they married. What I do and can expect is for them to exercise judgment and character before making decisions to engage in sex.
As a result, our extraordinary son came to us before he had sex for the first time (Age 17). He and his girlfriend had dated four months before deciding to consumate their relationship and they both went to their parents to tell them (us) beforehand. (She had to be on the pill for three weeks before they could 'do it'.)
That gave me the opportunity to have the Big Talk with my son before the big day. Our talk was about character. We discussed how having lots of sexual partners adds nothing to a man's character and I told him of all my experiences (more than some and less than others) and which ones meant nothing to me and how I wished I had never had them. That waiting and 'making love' instead of 'getting laid' (pardon my language) would preserve the true value and intimacy that meaningful sex offers. He understood.
He is a very good-looking, smart, sweet kid. When he got to college several young women confesed to him that they were virgins and asked him if he would "do the honors." He said no.
Most parents will never have a child who includes them in their decisions the way that our son has. But that should never be the reason why the parent doesn't discuss the importance of making these decisions. After all, Character Counts.
Posted by: MICHAEL GERBER | January 18, 2008 7:38 AM
Michael,
I read with much interest your comment about sexual ethics. Having been a high school teacher for the past 25 years, I have seen the consequences of irresponsible and selfish sexual behavior among my students. I have spent hours counseling both young men and young women who have been heartbroken, diseased or pregnant, along with a host of other life-changing ramifications of their choices. Sex always touches our lives at a core level, and has moral implications. Thank you for your stand.
Bob Jones
Posted by: Bob Jones | January 18, 2008 9:41 AM