In 1964, a young woman named Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death outside her apartment building in Queens, New York. She was attacked repeatedly over the course of an hour. Despite her screams, none of the 38 neighbors intervened or called for help. Some were afraid. Some didn't want to get involved. Some thought someone else would do it.

The incident became a symbol of the increased callousness, self-centeredness, and fearfulness of a society where brutes, bullies, and other bad guys act with confidence that onlookers won't interfere.

The long array of billion-dollar scandals rocking corporate America is not so much the result of growing hordes of clever scoundrels as it is the product of passive complicity of innocent people who are willing to look the other way to protect their job, their relationship with the boss, or their incentive compensation.

The moral root of the issue is responsibility. As Edmund Burke said, "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing."

We aren't obligated to put ourselves at risk to right every wrong we witness, but we should do so when the consequences are serious. We're accountable for creating an environment that is hostile, not accommodating, to illegal and unethical conduct.

The duty of responsibility requires both good sense and courage to help us avoid the extremes of doing nothing and trying to do everything. One thing is certain, though. The world will be better if we all do a little more.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:18 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (2)

The virtue of respect is demonstrated by being courteous and civil and treating everyone in a manner that acknowledges and honors their essential human dignity.

An important but often neglected aspect of respect is listening to what others have to say.

Respectful listening is more than hearing. It requires us to actually consider what's being said. That's hard when we've heard it before, aren't interested, or don't think much of the person talking. It's even worse when we act like we're listening but are really waiting for our turn to speak.

The fact is, most of us don't listen very well, certainly not all the time, and especially with people closest to us. Kids are especially adept at tuning out their parents, but parents are equally skilled at ignoring or dismissing as foolish or irrelevant what their kids have to say.

Disrespect is most apparent when others ignore or patronize us. Like when they roll their eyes or betray fake interest by vacantly staring or letting their gaze wander.

We all want to know that what we say and think matters. But if we want others to care about what we say, we need to care about what they say. Like all the important virtues, we teach respect best by demonstrating it.

So listen up! It'll make people feel better, and you may even learn something.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:37 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)

The parable about the man who gave his bonus check to a woman who falsely convinced him her infant was dying generated a flurry of letters. It always does.

Some readers thought the man’s impulsive act of generosity was foolish and irresponsible, and his joyful reaction upon discovering the baby wasn't really dying was stupid. One listener thought his naïve optimism was a major character flaw.

I understand this. Exploiting people’s compassion with false stories is contemptible, and I hate being played for a fool. If it had happened to me, I’m sure my first reaction would have been shame and anger, but that only proves my first impulses aren't always my best.

On reflection, it’s noble and admirable that this man's consistent instinct is empathy rather than outrage. His spontaneous generosity with his money and his outlook on life is dictated by his heart, not his ego or wallet.

I'm not endorsing irresponsible gullibility, but I don’t think it’s a character flaw to believe clever and unscrupulous liars or to give people the benefit of the doubt. I can’t feel disdain for anyone motivated by such a strong sense of empathy and caring.

In this case, his trust was misplaced, but what if he'd been right and his gift had made a real difference to the baby? Virtue should be judged not by whether we're right but whether we try to do what's right.

In the end, cynicism is a greater character flaw than trustfulness.

Whether resistance to pleas for help is based on principles of prudence and responsibility or is simply an excuse to justify a lack of generosity, it’s worse to refuse aid to the truly needy than to be occasionally taken in by clever tricksters.

Yes, free-flowing trust and kindness will keep conscienceless creeps in business, but we can live with that. What we can’t live with is a society where human instincts of trust, caring, and compassion are poisoned by cynicism.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (13)

Our values – the core beliefs that drive our behavior – determine our character, ethics, and potential. Thus, the most important thing we can do for our children is to instill in them positive values that will help them become wise, happy, and good. This is no simple matter.

The first step is to achieve greater clarity about what we really believe and what we want our children to believe. Often there's an inconsistency between what we say we value (our stated values) and what we actually value as revealed by our choices (our operative values).

The second step is to recognize the complexity of our value structures. Our values fall into three categories: what we want (preference values), what we think works (pragmatic values), and what we think is right (ethical values). In a person of character, ethical values establish the ground rules for pursuing all others.

Many companies articulate value statements expressing what they stand for. Why shouldn't families do the same by formalizing a "Statement of Family Values" covering such basic matters as:

• Character and ethics
• Faith and spirituality
• Marriage and family relationships
• Friendship
• Education
• Self-reliance
• Attitude
• Service
• Success
• Money and material possessions
• Drinking
• Drugs
• Premarital sex

Formulating and expressing your beliefs about the nature and relative importance of such issues can provide a clear and powerful blueprint for developing your children's character.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 1:49 PM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)

One of my favorite stories is about a man who was rushing home with a $1,000 bonus check he’d unexpectedly received from work.

Before he got to his car, a desperate-looking woman holding a baby asked him for a few dollars. She said her child had leukemia and was dying. He reached into his pocket for some loose bills and accidentally pulled out his bonus check.

He looked at the check and then at the baby. Acting spontaneously, he endorsed it to her on the spot. "Use this to do what you can for your baby."

When he told his family at home what he'd done, his 16-year-old son said, "I can’t believe you gave her our money! You don’t even know her. She was probably conning you." His wife shook her head, scolding him for being so naïve.

The man looked hurt, but said, "I just thought she needed it more than we did."

A week later, his son showed him a local newspaper article about a woman with a baby who had been arrested for scamming people in the area. "This is the lady you gave the money to, isn’t it?" his son asked.

"Yes," the father replied, suddenly beaming with joy.

"What are you smiling about?" the boy demanded. "We were cheated! She made a fool out of you."

"Don’t you see?" his dad said. "This is wonderful news. It means the baby's not dying."

Only then did his wife get it. Overwhelmed with love for the generous man she married, she hugged her husband and turned to their son. "Your dad will earn other bonuses. Be thankful we have each other, our health, and a truly good man we can all be proud of."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (18)

The most traditional way to measure the quality of one’s life is to list accolades, achievements, and acquisitions. In its simplest terms, success is getting what we want, and most people want wealth and status.

Yet as much pleasure as these attributes can bring, the rich, powerful, and famous usually discover that true happiness will elude them if they don't have peace of mind, self-respect, and enduring loving relationships.

Peace of mind doesn’t preclude ambition or desire for material possessions or high position, but it assumes a fundamental foundation of contentment, gratitude, and pride – a belief that whatever one has is enough and an active appreciation for the good things in life.

Feeling successful can generate satisfying emotions of self-worth, but feeling significant – that one’s life really matters – is much more potent. Peter Drucker, the great management guru, captured this idea when he wrote of the urge many high achievers have to "move beyond success to significance."

The surprise for many is that one of the surest roads to significance is service. It doesn’t have to be of the Mother Teresa missionary variety. Parents who sacrifice their comfort and pleasure for their children are performing a service, as are teachers, public-safety professionals, members of the military, and volunteers who work for the common good.

In addressing graduates, Albert Schweitzer said, "I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:34 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (6)

Suppose you're an Olympic athlete and you hear that the only person who has a chance to beat you is ill and may have to withdraw. Are you overjoyed at your good luck or disappointed that you won't be able to compete against the very best?

You ought to be disappointed. Olympian John Naber, winner of four gold medals in swimming, says a true sportsman wants to compete against his best competitor on his best day. Although that makes winning more difficult and less likely, it also makes the event more exciting and a victory more meaningful. Being declared a winner is not real victory; being the best is.

In any sport, what's more fun: to play against someone you easily dominate or against someone who forces you to be your best and makes every point an exciting challenge? The aim of sports is to have fun trying to win and to love the game enough that you can enjoy yourself whether you win or not.

Athletic competition is not a form of war. The people you compete against are also the people you play with. They aren't enemies. The word "competition" comes from the Latin root competere, which means "to strive together, not against each other."

Be thankful for quality competitors who push you to your limit. You'll find sports more healthy and enjoyable when you respect and like your opponents rather than hate them. When you compete against someone as good or better than you, you may not always win, but you never lose.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:29 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (2)

An angry woman once approached me after a speech to tell me off. It's easy for you to talk about my responsibility to speak out or object to waste or wrongdoing, she said, but I'm a single mother and my highest duty is to keep my job. If that means occasionally looking the other way, so be it. You have no business trying to make me feel guilty for putting my family first.

As a father of five, I was hit hard by her criticism. It took a while for me to sort it through, but we have to be careful about using our family as an excuse for choices that diminish our integrity. Financial security is surely important, but so is the moral example we set for our children and the foundation we give them on which to build their lives.

Suppose you're faced with a difficult choice at work where you may be fired if you do what's right. Which is the better gift to your family: Compromise your principles, and send the message that you can't always afford to be ethical? Or demonstrate confidence that you can always afford ethics; that whatever happens, you can make it; that in this family, character matters; and that no job is worth dishonor?

Sometimes the dues we pay to maintain integrity are high, but the cost of moral compromise is so much higher. In fact, the more an act of honor costs, the more it's worth. Every example of moral courage contributes to a lasting legacy our children can, and will, be proud of all their lives.

Don't give that up for the short-term benefit of security.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (28)

A former successful college coach and athletic director once wrote me a note about the state of college sports.

The pressure to win in high-profile schools is so great, he said, it's almost impossible to resist rationalizing. When competitors cheat or engage in other unethical conduct, the tendency is to redefine the ground rules for competition rather than be at a disadvantage.

He compared the way win-hungry boosters blur the vision and undermine the integrity of coaches and administrators with the way money-hungry shareholders stress stock prices, which promotes accounting manipulation and other ethical shortcuts.

In sports, outsiders who aren't concerned with a college's educational mission or notions of sportsmanship and character-building promote a “no excuses” demand on coaches that can transform an athletic program into a business driven by the pursuit of money and glory.

In business, shareholders (from day traders to money managers of mutual and pension funds) who aren't concerned with the ethics or long-term viability of a company create pressures and incentives that can promote short-term decision-making and undermine the economic and moral health of their firm.

We need people to act as guardians who will understand and protect the soul of their enterprise. Coaches should be allowed to think about more than winning, and business executives should be given the opportunity to consider more than stock prices and short-term profits.

If we don't recalibrate our incentive systems and insulate coaches and managers from unhealthy influences, things will only get worse.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (3)

There's a well traveled story about a professor with a one-gallon jar and a dozen large rocks. After a little rearranging, he got all the rocks in the jar, filling it to the top. He then dumped in gravel until the spaces between the rocks were filled. Next, he poured in sand, shaking the jar so the sand filled the spaces between the rocks and the gravel. Finally, he emptied in a pitcher of water.

"What does this demonstration prove?" he asked his class.

One student said, "No matter how full your life seems, you can always take on a little more."

Another said, "Sequence and planning are important to maximizing productivity."

A third said, "It's about setting priorities. If I don't deal with the big rocks first, I'll end up with wet sand and gravel."

There's validity to each response, but the idea of identifying and dealing with the big rocks first is a particularly valuable insight.

We'll have a fuller and more fulfilling existence if we set our priorities – not only at work but in our life. Our relationships, work, spirituality, hobbies, and charitable causes all claim our attention. We have to decide what's really important.

Too often, we surrender control of our days, even the direction of our life, by letting circumstances or other people determine how we spend our time. Thus, we deal with what comes at us in the order it does, or we deal first with squeaking wheels and demanding people.

Unless we consciously distinguish between the rocks, gravel, sand, and water in our life, we'll likely neglect or forget the things that truly matter.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (0)

After having just lost his bride of 42 years, a reader named Bob wrote to tell me how deeply important it's been to him to be the beneficiary of grand and spontaneous acts of kindness of strangers.

In one case, he was overcome with emotion and began to cry while making copies of all the notes of love and support he received. Seeing his pain, a young woman hugged him until he regained control.

Weeks later, he was at a restaurant alone and began to cry when he thought about his wife. A waitress sat beside him and held his hand. As long as there are people like that in the world, Bob concluded, there's still hope.

The great musician Pablo Casals said, "Each person has inside a basic decency and goodness. If he acts on it and listens to it, he is giving a great deal of what the world needs most. It is not complicated, but it takes courage. It takes courage for a person to listen to his own goodness and act upon it."

Poet William Wordsworth put it another way, declaring that the best portions of a good person's life are "little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love." And novelist Henry James said, "Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind."

Think how much better the world would be, and how much more gratifying your life would be, if every day each of us set out to lighten the life or brighten the day of another with simple kindness.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:58 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)

Yesterday, I expressed admiration and appreciation for the life of Charlton Heston and his dedication to his family, professional excellence, and civic responsibility.

It didn’t surprise me that some listeners who opposed Mr. Heston’s conservative politics objected to the tribute and concluded that my good words were influenced by my presumed agreement with his political views, including those he promoted as president of the National Rifle Association.

In fact, my esteem for Mr. Heston had nothing to do with his politics – or mine.

I don’t understand those who scorn celebrities who use their media access as a platform to advance their political and social views. To the contrary, I applaud and admire men and women who resist the confining seductions of self-indulgence and shallow hero-worship and use their resources to make the world a better place – as they see it. They understand the difference between success and significance.

Thus, irrespective of particular political philosophies, I admire individuals such as Tom Selleck, who is an articulate and committed advocate for the CHARACTER COUNTS! character-education movement; Oprah Winfrey, who gives millions to worthy causes including educating children in South Africa; Robert Redford, who promotes independent filmmaking and environmental causes; Paul Newman, who donates the profits from his food business to help sick children; Bono and Angelina Jolie, who give their time to worldwide humanitarian causes; George Clooney, who urges his fellow Americans to assist the victims of genocide in Darfur; and Sean Penn, who vocally opposes the war in Iraq and went to Louisiana to aid Katrina victims.

In my book, activism is a good thing. Judging people on their politics rather than their character is not. A person shouldn't have to agree with us to be worthy of our respect and esteem.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

* A side note about Charlton Heston. Although at the end of his acting career he was quite visible in his support of conservative political causes, especially vigorous opposition to gun control, in the 1950s and 1960s he was one of only a few Hollywood actors to speak openly against racism and an active supporter of the civil-rights movement. Like Ronald Reagan, he was initially a Democrat.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:27 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (12)

Last week, Hollywood icon Charlton Heston died. He had been out of the public eye since 2002 after he publicly announced he was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s disease.

At the time, I read portions of an eloquent and deeply moving message he published about his condition and his perspective on the past and future. Days later, I received and shared a note from his son Fraser, who wanted to add another dimension to his dad’s legacy.

“My father,” he wrote, “is the most ethical person I know, whose character I admire more than any other man. He has demonstrated to me that character counts not only when the sun is shining, but when storm clouds gather as well.”

This soulful tribute impressed me even more than Mr. Heston’s own statement.

We are the playwrights and stars of our own lives, and we alone decide whether the part we’ve written is grand or small. How we write and play our part determines how long we'll be remembered, by whom, and for what. And the audience that matters most consists of family and friends – the people who really know us.

Since familiarity is more likely to diminish than enlarge admiration, when an adult child expresses deep and true respect for a parent, it really means something.

In his goodbye letter, Charlton Heston called his family his “proudest achievement.” But the achievement represented by his family is not only told in the accomplishments and character of his children and grandchildren, but in the level of esteem he earned from his family.

This makes Fraser's assessment of his dad a persuasive testament and worthy memorial of a life well lived.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

To read his goodbye letter, see below.

* Charlton Heston’s film legacy includes hugely heroic parts in epic films. He played Moses, Ben Hur, and Michelangelo. Yet, without doubt, the way he dealt with the impending loss of his mental faculties with such dignity, grace, and gratitude is Mr. Heston's most authentic demonstration of heroism. Here is the letter he published in 2002:

My Dear Friends, Colleagues, and Fans:

My physicians have recently told me I may have a neurological disorder whose symptoms are consistent with Alzheimer's disease. I wanted to prepare a few words for you now because when the time comes, I may not be able to.

I've lived my whole life on the stage and screen before you. I've found purpose and meaning in your response. For an actor there's no greater loss than the loss of his audience. I can part the Red Sea, but I can't part with you, which is why I won't exclude you from this stage in my life.

For now, I'm not changing anything. I'll insist on work when I can; the doctors will insist on rest when I must. If you see a little less spring in my step, if your name fails to leap to my lips, you'll know why. And if I tell you a funny story for the second time, please laugh anyway.

I'm neither giving up nor giving in. I believe I'm still the fighter that Dr. King and JFK and Ronald Reagan knew, but it's a fight I must someday call a draw. I must reconcile courage and surrender in equal measure. Please feel no sympathy for me. I don't. I just may be a little less accessible to you, despite my wishes.

I also want you to know that I'm grateful beyond measure. My life has been blessed with good fortune. I'm grateful that I was born in America, that cradle of freedom and opportunity, where a kid from the Michigan north woods can work hard and make something of his life. I'm grateful for the gift of the greatest words ever written, that let me share with you the infinite scope of the human experience. As an actor, I'm thankful that I've lived not one life, but many.

Above all, I'm proud of my family ... my wife Lydia, the queen of my heart, my children, Fraser and Holly, and my beloved grandchildren, Jack, Ridley, and Charlie. They're my biggest fans, my toughest critics, and my proudest achievement. Through them, I can touch immortality.

Finally, I'm confident about the future of America. I believe in you. I know that the future of our country, our culture, and our children is in good hands. I know you will continue to meet adversity with strength and resilience, as our ancestors did, and come through with flying colors -- the ones on Old Glory.

William Shakespeare, at the end of his career, wrote his farewell through the words of Prospero in The Tempest. It ends like this:

"Be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, as I foretold you, were all spirits and are melted into air, into thin air. And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, the cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea all which it inherit, shall dissolve and, like this insubstantial pageant faded, leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep."

Thank you, and God bless you, everyone.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (9)

Tess, an earnest 8-year-old, was worried. Her little brother was very sick and she overheard her mom crying on the phone: "They say his only chance is an experimental operation, but it isn’t covered by insurance. There’s no way we can pay for it.”

Tess went to her jar containing all the money she’d saved. Although she wasn’t supposed to go to a store alone, this was an emergency. She walked four blocks to the drugstore that her mom got medicine from and went to the counter. The pharmacist was deeply engaged in a conversation.

Finally, Tess said, "Excuse me, this is an emergency."

"What do you need?” the pharmacist snapped. "I’m talking to my brother whom I haven’t seen in years."

Tess replied, "Well, I have a brother, too, and he’s going to die if you don’t sell me an experimental operation."

The pharmacist softened, but said, "I’m sorry, we don’t sell operations here."

Overhearing the exchange, his brother asked the girl, "What kind of operation do you need?"

"To take sick lumps out of his brain," Tess answered. "I have money." She poured her savings onto the counter.

The brother said, "That may be just enough."

After talking with Tess’s mom, the nationally renowned neurosurgeon took the case and successfully performed the complex operation at no charge.

This is my version of a story circulating on the Internet. Even if it’s not true, it’s a wonderful parable about what happens when caring is turned into action.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (2)

In the book, If I Were Starting My Family Again, John M. Drescher tells of a little boy trying to get his father’s attention when he scraped his knee.

After his dad impatiently looks up from his paper and barks, "Well, what can I do about it?" the boy, hurt by his harshness, says, "You could say, 'Ouch.'"

You could say ouch. What a wonderful metaphor to remind us of the power and importance of caring and taking the time to show it. That little boy wasn’t asking his dad to solve a problem; he was trying to share an event.

Because I have a tendency to focus on fixing rather than feeling, I have to remind myself that empathy is not an intellectual ability. It’s an emotional quality with healing power that works only when expressed. Sometimes, just listening and showing genuine interest and compassion is all that’s needed. With four young daughters and a sensitive wife, I’m still learning that tenderness is more important than toughness.

When my kids were little, the remedy for every "ouchie" was a kiss from mommy or daddy directly on the wounded area. It’s easy to laugh at, but there’s something truly wonderful about how often a loving kiss makes things better for young children.

We shouldn’t underestimate the healing power of sincere compassion, concern, and affection. We ought to try it more on adults. Take a moment to acknowledge their “ouchies,” too, and simply be there – with a kiss, hug, or kind word of consolation.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:47 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)

A few years ago, 14 students at an affluent public high school were involved in a school break-in. They weren’t vandals and weren’t trying to steal anything. Their goal was to alter computer records of their academic transcripts so they’d have a better chance of getting into premier colleges.

Some people were horrified, others amused, and still others willing to treat the matter as a minor youthful indiscretion.

The superintendent fell into the last category. "It’s a one-time infraction," he said and imposed a five-day suspension.

Corrected transcripts were sent to the colleges involved, but the schools weren’t told about the burglary or falsification of records. The reason? According to the superintendent, the students were under a lot of pressure and made a mistake. “We think they learned their lesson,” he said. “We don’t want to ruin their lives."

The students learned a lesson all right. They learned there’s very little downside to doing whatever it takes to get what you want, even committing a felony. They learned even if you get caught, you probably won’t suffer serious consequences. Suspending high school seniors for a week is more like a vacation than a punishment.

This sort of excessive leniency sends a terrible message to kids about right and wrong. The superintendent trivialized the act by calling it a "mistake." A mathematical error is a mistake. Forgetting someone’s birthday is a mistake. Getting into a bad relationship is a mistake. But breaking into a locked office to alter documents is not.

It’s a premeditated act of dishonesty and should be treated as such. If that means the students will suffer long-term impact, so be it. That’s what justice requires and responsibility is about.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:26 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (9)

One of the most insightful and useful books I’ve ever read is a small volume by Harold Kushner called Living a Life That Matters.

Today, I want to suggest ways of getting the most out of books, at least nonfiction books, which is about all I read.

Reading shouldn’t be a passive experience. If you allow yourself to be absorbed in the interaction of the author’s thoughts and your reactions, it’s like a great conversation. I know lots of people think it’s a sin to mark up a book; I think it’s a waste to leave it untouched.

I reread complex, clever, and profound passages several times. I underline them, make notes in the margin, fold back pages, do whatever I can to highlight the parts I find useful or inspirational so I can find them again.

When a passage stimulates thoughts, I immediately write them in the margins or on the blank pages in the front or back of the book. A really good book has me thinking as much as reading, and I never read a book in one sitting. When I restart the book, I revisit my notes like they were old friends.

Both during and after a book, I try to communicate what I’ve learned or the new ideas generated in conversations, letters, and even these commentaries. New insights are a great gift, and we should share them. I liked Kushner’s book so much, I bought 30 copies and gave them as gifts.

While writing this piece, I realized the way I approach books is also a decent way to approach life. Live it fully and completely at the time, and live it by remembering and sharing it.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (5)

It’s often said that our choices reveal our character, but it’s also true that our choices shape our character. Thus, the more aware we become of the choices we make every day – about our attitudes, our words, our actions, and our reactions – the more power we have over our destiny.

According to Senator Bob Bennett of Utah, a big supporter of CHARACTER COUNTS!, "Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself."

It’s true. When we accept moral responsibility for our choices, we take charge of our life. Yet sometimes the power to choose is not self-evident, especially to teenagers who are struggling to deal with hormone-intensified impulses accompanying powerful emotions like excitement, desire, frustration, and anger. These emotions can be so strong that they create moods and urges that seem beyond control. As a result, no attempt is made to control them.

At the root of good decision-making is self-control and the knowledge that no matter how difficult or confusing the situation, we always have the power to choose what we think, say, and do – even when we’re under tremendous pressure or don’t like our options.

Like a ship without a captain to steer it, when we hide behind our self-serving illusion of helplessness ("You made me mad," "You left me no choice," "I couldn't help myself"), our lives move in aimless and random directions and sometimes run aground.

But if we take control, we have control.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (3)

Ask young people why they get high on drugs or alcohol or seek sex without intimacy or commitment and they’re likely to tell you it’s fun and they just want to be happy.

It’s tempting to envy the life of fun-loving "party animals," "playboys," and "good-time girls" until one thinks about how they feel about themselves and their lives when they’re alone without the hyped-up stimulation they seem to thrive on.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to realize that if happiness is the destination, these folks are on the wrong road. The problem is, the intense sensation of fun or feelings of pleasure experienced by a substance-induced buzz or an exciting sexual encounter are quickly replaced with a consuming sense of emptiness that drives a need to start all over to fill the vessel again.

Each time drinkers, drug users, or sex addicts discover that getting what they wanted isn’t making them happy, they fall into the despondency conveyed in the famous Peggy Lee song: "Is That All There Is?"

People who make pleasure-seeking the focus of their lives are like drug addicts who need continually stronger and more dangerous doses to get high.

Happiness is different than fun and pleasure. It’s a less intense, but more durable, feeling of well-being. It’s not a continuous state. A good life is usually seasoned with moments of joy and despair, play and work, success and failure. Happiness is a kind of emotional resting place of quiet satisfaction with one’s life.

The art of living a happy life is not having more of what you want but getting better at enjoying what you have.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 12:29 PM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (6)

In the 1964 Winter Olympics in Innsbruck, Austria, six-time medalist Eugenio Monti from Italy was favored to win the gold medal in the bobsledding pair event. After his team’s last run, it looked like they were going to make it.

The British team, led by Tony Nash Jr., still had a chance, but before their final run, Nash discovered a critical axle bolt had broken on their sled. They were done. Without hesitation, Monti removed the bolt from his sled and rushed it up to Nash’s team. They were able to continue, and their run was so strong they won the gold medal.

The Italian press viciously criticized Monti for giving up the gold, but he was steadfast. "Nash didn’t win because I gave him the bolt," he said. "He won because he had the fastest run."

Olympic swimming medalist John Naber says a true sportsman, one who believes in the Olympic ideal, not only wants to win, he wants to win against his best opponent on his best day. A true sportsman is not elated, but disappointed, when top competitors are injured or disqualified.

Monti won the gold medal at the next Winter Olympics, but it was his willingness to lose that earned him a prominent place in Olympic history. His act represents sportsmanship at its best: the pursuit of victory with zeal and passion, recognizing that there’s no true victory without honor.

Today, with so many teams and athletes willing to cheat or behave badly to win, we need reminders of the noble potential of sports. Parents and coaches should teach youngsters that the real glory of sport is in the striving, not the winning.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 10:37 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)

Here are seven truths I’ve discovered in my struggles to be an effective boss:

1. It’s not what you say that matters, it’s what people hear. Just because you said it doesn't mean they heard it. Just because you wrote it doesn’t mean they read it. Be sure your message is received and understood.

2. There are lots of things you don’t know and lots of people who hope you don’t find out. The boss rarely hears the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You’ve got to walk around, look around, listen, and ask direct questions.

3. Hire for character, train for skills. Integrity, responsibility, and the ability to work with others are vital competencies. You’ve got to screen out or weed out people you can’t believe or rely on or who are toxic to the team.

4. Settling for warm bodies turns one problem into two. You still have to get someone who’s right for the job, but first you have to deal with and remove the wrong person. If you can’t find the time to do it right, when will you find the time to do it over?

5. What you allow, you encourage. If you don’t enforce your values and rules, they’re not really your values and they’re not really rules.

6. Doing nothing is doing something. Indecision and inaction cause as much harm as poor decisions. Indecisiveness is incompetence.

7. It’s all about relationships. Your most important job is to get the most out of the people who work with you. You’ve got to be ready to be a boss, motivator, mentor, counselor, disciplinarian, or friend.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:30 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (3)

One problem with talking about business ethics is there’s often a wide gap between rhetoric and reality. The reality is that business isn’t nearly as bad as some critics make it out to be or nearly as good as its apologists contend. By the same token, ethics may not be as crucial to success as moralists make it.

Yes, trust has been badly eroded by too much lying and cheating, even by basically decent people. Yet every day, people of character successfully overcome pressures and resist temptations to sacrifice ethics for expediency.

At the same time, well-meaning reformers often oversell the role of ethics in success. Asserting platitudes like "good ethics is good business" as if it were moral truth makes the case for ethics more vulnerable to cynics anxious to disprove the generality with a host of examples.

The truth is, good ethics sometimes is good business, but sometimes it’s not. It depends on one’s goals and how one defines good business. Sometimes good ethics can end in bankruptcy. Of course, so can bad ethics.

A fairer statement is that good ethics can be a very powerful business asset. Good things tend to happen to companies and individuals who consistently do the right thing, and bad things tend to happen to those who even occasionally do the wrong thing.

But the crucial point is that the moral obligation to live according to ethical principles is not dependent on whether it’s advantageous. People of character do the right thing in the pursuit of virtue, not self-interest.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Posted by Josephson Institute Editor at 9:57 AM | Permalink | Leave a Comment (1)