Happiness Is More Than Fun and Pleasure 561.1
Ask young people why they get high on drugs or alcohol or seek sex without intimacy or commitment and they’re likely to tell you it’s fun and they just want to be happy.
It’s tempting to envy the life of fun-loving "party animals," "playboys," and "good-time girls" until one thinks about how they feel about themselves and their lives when they’re alone without the hyped-up stimulation they seem to thrive on.
It doesn’t take a psychologist to realize that if happiness is the destination, these folks are on the wrong road. The problem is, the intense sensation of fun or feelings of pleasure experienced by a substance-induced buzz or an exciting sexual encounter are quickly replaced with a consuming sense of emptiness that drives a need to start all over to fill the vessel again.
Each time drinkers, drug users, or sex addicts discover that getting what they wanted isn’t making them happy, they fall into the despondency conveyed in the famous Peggy Lee song: "Is That All There Is?"
People who make pleasure-seeking the focus of their lives are like drug addicts who need continually stronger and more dangerous doses to get high.
Happiness is different than fun and pleasure. It’s a less intense, but more durable, feeling of well-being. It’s not a continuous state. A good life is usually seasoned with moments of joy and despair, play and work, success and failure. Happiness is a kind of emotional resting place of quiet satisfaction with one’s life.
The art of living a happy life is not having more of what you want but getting better at enjoying what you have.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
Comments
I believe that whatever a person's addiction may be, they are happy in that moment. Therefore, their addiction/experiences bring them happiness. I don't know if it's the happiness that brings them any good in the end -- but they will probably argue that they are happy. But I also believe that happiness can be taken away under extreme circumstances or horrifying experiences in life. I think more than happiness, joy is something that lies within a person. It's just a matter of finding that joy in life. Happiness can go away, but I believe joy is always there...somewhere.
Posted by: Audrey | April 4, 2008 3:35 PM
I was taught to be JOYFUL because that is a state of the heart when fixed upon the Lord. Being happy is merely a state of emotion for a time, which will fade. One can be joyful in circumstances that don't make you happy because you can focus on the final destination rather than the bad moments in the journey.
By the way, Michael, you are really dating yourself using a Peggy Lee song as a reference.
Posted by: David | April 7, 2008 7:09 PM
Each week, my Work Group holds a mini-communications meeting. One of my direct report managers conducts the meeting reviewing workplace safety, industry news and other related items. Three months ago, I started "paraphasing" one of your stories. The story was the Special Olympics. It was when one of the runners fell down and the competitors stopped to helped their fellow friend up and finished the race together. One lady cried, 6 of the "tough men" in the group came up to me later telling "the story touched them" Bottom line, the group now insist that I tell one of your character stories before they leave the meetings. Thanks for your outstanding work!
Posted by: Bruce Borst | April 11, 2008 5:44 AM
Michael, you are fabulous, and spot-on as usual. Addiction has been a running theme throughout my life and I could not agree with this commentary more. Thank you.
Posted by: Sara | April 11, 2008 8:32 AM
That Peggy Lee song is iconic. It can never be "dated."
Posted by: Patti Calabrese | April 11, 2008 9:55 AM
David
Please read this week's commentery. I am still waiting to know the time and place that we are going to meet.
Posted by: David | April 11, 2008 10:16 AM