Mr Josephson, I live in Los Angeles. I live in one of the poorest areas with extremely high crime rates. If I quit my job due to unethical behavior, then my family and I will be homeless. What kind of legacy is that leaving my family? And how do you dare to say "don't give that up for the short-term benefit of security"? Have you EVER been in a situation where financially you had to keep a job or watch your children suffer? My husband has been looking for a job for 2 months now, so we really can't afford for me to lose mine.

At different junctures in this life I have worked in a job that compromised my principles and also quit jobs for the same reason. Guess which decision helps me set a better example for my kids? And yes, I've been on the streets. And yes, I'd do it again.

I have been there and quit that job. Took a $20,000 a year pay cut. It was tough; we wound up bankrupt. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. My sons know their father is a man who will do right no matter what.

Move. Get out of where you are. Change. Grow. But don't ever surrender your integrity.

As a man striving to maintain my character while being in sales, I am constantly challenged to do what I know is not right - or to look the other way. I find the strength to make the tough choices - to put employment and domestic tranquility at risk - in knowing that my God blesses those efforts and will see fit to care for my needs and the needs of my family. They may not be the riches I desire, but they are surely those He desires for me. For me, rationalizing my behavior to avoid risk is essentially putting my faith in the wrong place... How hard is it to do what's right when all is good and there is no risk!? The essential test of your character, your virtue, and your faith comes when making the right choice is harder than all the others!

The greater the risk, the greater the test, the more tested the character.

Michael. I am reminded of the old Native American proverb "Don't judge a person until you have walked a mile in their mocasins". Is this pertinent in this situation? It's hard to say on the one hand I agree with you that ethics are not a relative issue though many, to this day, try to make them such. This is the black/white ethical code that many of us in the Judeo-Christian world were brought up with. But in our post-modern age, we are battered with a "as long as it does not hurt someone else" approach. As a Christian, I repudiate such compromise.

However, in any court of law that aspires to real justice, the judge/magistrate will give due consideration to the "mitigating circumstances" when deciding on the punishment. By doing this, he is not excusing the crime (which is bad ethics taken to an extreme) but acknowledging the pressures and circumstances that may have clouded the accused's judgment at the time. That is why a crime of passion that happens in a fit of rage is regarded as less heinous than a crime that is carried out in "cold blood". Both have the same effect and so, I suppose one could say, both should be regarded equally bad, but because one is done "after consideration," it is regarded as worse.

Anonymous may feel pressured to overlook the wrong-doing of her employer for the sake of putting bread on the table." However I suspect she, like many people today, is laboring under the illusion of the so-called "victimless crime". I'm afraid there is no such thing. In as much as she shuts her eyes to the injustices that take place at her place of work, there will be others who shut their eyes to injustices that will affect her family. So lady, I realize how scary it is when you stare unemployment in the face, but remember that this life is not all there is and that some day we will be called to give account for the things we have done during our lives.

A theory introduced decades ago by Abraham Maslow states that there is a hierarchy to human needs. At the base of the pyramid are the physiological needs such as food and water; the next tier is for safety. There are three more general categories in the heirarchy; needs for things like truth and justice are at the top. What the theory states is that when basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid aren't met, people will tend to focus on them until they are met and won't be able to proceed to the higher levels. That is why as the Los Angeles woman states, she is willing to overlook unethical behavior in order to keep her family safe and secure. Now, I think such a person can work hard to save money and search for a new job, with the goal of working for an ethical employer, but to quit without regard to family's security would be folly.
The other side of the coin is that many people have a skewed view of what true needs are. Someone working for an unethical employer in order to afford luxuries rather than basic needs, saying these are "needed" things, doesn't really understand the difference between wants and needs, nor do they understand or care about others in society.

I too have to add my voice to the dissent that has arisen about your comments concerning abandonment of family for "dishonor." I take issue with the way you have constructed the argument. Either you are honorable or you are not. In this case you define honorable as putting your own personal beliefs before the needs of your family. I disagree with this. The honorable parent is the one who makes the daily sacrifices for the betterment of their children. Is this not "a better gift?" Are you not demonstrating by your own character what is most right?

I was working at a job where my boss began to ask me to sign off on work that wasn't done and to perform evaluations that I was not certified to do. My refusals to comply were making things difficult for everyone in the office, and there was a lot of pressure and unpleasantness. There were no other jobs in my field in the area. At the time, my family was trying to recover from a devastating fire that had destroyed everything we owned. (During the clean-up, someone even found our credit cards, checks, etc. and used them to add insult to injury.) Leaving that job would mean taking a significant cut in pay when we could least afford it. The choice between maintaining my self-respect and integrity and regaining financial security was frightening, but I left. Within a week, I got a call from a place to which I had applied but had been turned down because they had no openings. The job I ended up with was higher paying, more challenging, and has afforded me room for much growth. That was twelve years ago. My former employer has not only gone out of business, but is serving time in prison for his fraudulent acts. Some of my former co-workers shared in his shame during the publicity that accompanied the exposure. I can hold my head up, and life has rewarded my choice.

I walked out of a job after being told if I left I would not have a job to come back to. At the time, my daughter was an infant who had kidney failure and I was called because she was running a high fever. In the midst of an audit, the auditor threatened me with my job. I left and never gave it a second thought. My daughter is 23 now and doing well. I worked 7 more years for that company after the day I walked out.

I think "anonymous" is missing the point of the commentary. Mr. Josephson understands the dilemma (though you say he can't possibly understand).

The issue is - down the road - how will you live with your choices? I don't know your situation, but will it cost you sleep if you lie on the job, cover up life-threatening mistakes (for health care professionals), "cook the books", and so on?

I think we'd all agree that the execs in the oil companies are some of the worst criminals out there --we KNOW we're being gouged, and the whole economy is suffering, especially the poor -- but nothing is done. And you know what? I'm sure the oil execs say they're taking care of their families too. I'm sure they say, "If we come clean now, we might go to jail -- I can't do that for my family's sake".

If you know your company is unethical, then start looking for a new job, now, and get yourself out of the situation. He's not saying you have to "up and quit" this very moment!

YES, a legacy of honesty and integrity will mean the world to your kids ... whether you know it or not, they see every thing we do or don't do -- say or don't say.

You say you live in Los Angeles -- you should check into the teachings of another area citizen -- Dr. Frederick K. C. Price.

I believe you are a bit out of touch on this issue, Mr. Josephson. I believe most would agree with you that compromising one's morals and principles for the sake of keeping a job is not a sign of strong character. But because you have not been among the working class in a long time and have had to endure the challenges of those types of work environments, it is quite easy for you to point out that one should walk away from a job and move on if integrity is challenged. I do tremendously well financially, but I am not naive to think that everyone is in the exact same position I am and can simply walk away from a job that is fullfilling their ultimate commitment of serving their families. Unfortunately we have a "Catch-22" here and the answer is not as clearcut as you believe it to be. The weight of the love and commitment to one's family sits heavily on a decision to just leave a compromising situation without a backup plan or a plan that would benefit the family. Positioning oneself so a change in environment becomes the ultimate goal might take some time and strategy and the lack thereof is irresponsible for all that are affected by a decision to leave a job. I believe you should revisit this issue before you dismiss what others have been trying to point out to you.

I know Mr. Josephson is not telling anyone "WHAT" to do, he is presenting the higher road. If you feel guilty, it's because of the choice you have made - not because Mr. Josephson wrote an article.

Though of course it's all about our character with choices we make, we should never, ever presume the high ground unless we've walked in our fellow citizens' shoes. A child's security, however defined by a loving parent, trumps all. I'm with her.

I don't agree with you that "the dues we pay to maintain integrity are high, but the cost of moral compromise is so much higher." We live in a world where moral compromise often has no cost at all and is very often rewarded. I know your commentaries are meant to try and change the world and to make it a better place, but I think you're preaching to the choir.

Expecting a single mother struggling to make ends meet to quit her job due to unethical (not illegal) behavior is expecting a lot. Even the President of the US engages in what some may see as unethical behavior and there is no outcry for him to quit his post.

It seems as though one way to approach this dilemma is to decide that for long term security, the best short term choice is to start looking for a job in a company that will not cause you to compromise your ethical standards. In my opinion and experience, a company that expects or requires its employees to perform or condone unethical behavior is a company that cannot be trusted to value the well-being of its employees.

I would like to comment on the woman's rebuttal to your statement "don't give that up for the short-term benefit of security"...what if our Founding Fathers decided not to fight for the right to be free from tyranny? Or what if the North decided not to pressure the South to give up slavery? Many people gave up more than security, they gave up their lives so you could live to make the right choices and keep the moral integrity of our Country alive. Those who gave up their lives in past and present wars would be ashamed of you!

Note to Marie:
You need to learn more about history before you use ridiculous examples to back up your statements. The Revolutionary War was not fought to be free from tyranny, and the Civil War was not fought over slavery. They were both fought for financial reasons - as they say, follow the money. It's a shame you're using the patriotic bandwagon to spout misinformation and act holier-than-thou...I'd like to see your ethics record.

You and I, as professionals, have many choices we can make and the tough ones may be navigated by the back-up we've created of savings and possibly family support. A single mother with neither savings nor family must keep her job.
She also must immediately start a search for a new job since continuing indefinitely in so toxic an environment will surely damage both her and her children.

I think everyone is taking this column more literally than it was intended. The point doesn’t seem to be that you should up and quit your job at every perceived act of unethical behavior. It’s that when you are faced with such a situation that you THINK about what your choices mean rather than just dismissing your actions with the “family security” excuse.

In reality, most unethical requests are not of the life-or-death or Enron type. These sorts of cases are actually much easier for people to act on than the usual day-to-day situations we are faced with. For example, think how many tax preparers are faced with requests to pad deductions? Further, not many children are aware of the ethical sacrifices their parents make. How many of those tax preparers have fudged a deduction and then gone home to divulge this to their children?

Keeping one’s job to support your family is of primary importance. But if your integrity is compromised too often, you really do need to find another employer. In this manner you truly can communicate to your children that ethics are important simply by explaining why you changed jobs.

One must think carefully when weighing actions. A co-worker once told me about the time he took a stand for a relatively minor ethical issue – just an engineering “twist” that was relatively benign. He was fired for insubordination and lost his appeal for unemployment payments because he could not prove the unethical request was ever made. He lost his medical insurance and had to mortgage the house to pay for his son’s leukemia treatment. He eventually lost the house and while living with his family in their minivan, his oldest daughter was raped and beaten. It has been almost 20 years and she has never forgiven him. Having been blackballed in his industry, he finally landed another job and has recovered financially. However, the psychological and emotional scars may never disappear. It seems his effort to teach his children an ethics lesson backfired. In hindsight, he thinks he should have conceded the request, gotten a new job, and then blown the whistle on his ex-employer.

Yes, life is not as black and white as this column would seem to indicate. To believe so is to not live in the real world…or to say unyielding ethics is more important than all else in all situations. One need only remember the decisions faced by Katrina survivors to understand the grayness of ethics. Sometimes the greatest lesson you can teach your children is the ethical burden you have carried for them in your role as parent. Just teach them to THINK about their ethics and you have given them a priceless gift.

I have read the above comments with much interest. One of the major things which seems to be overlooked is the real message that we are sending our children. They tend to see our compromises as evidence that the job is the most important thing in our lives, more important than our family. We seem to be more intent on justifying what we are doing to ourselves, not for the long-term impact on our families. And then we wonder why our children do not share our values. They do! Our true values, not the ones that we say, but the ones that we do.

I'm sorry that James feels it necessary to criticize Marie. Yes, money is almost always involved but that does not discount her thoughts on these two wars. There very well were moral considerations involved. It was not just about money. One only needs to read the story of Colonel Robert Gould Shaw, the colonel in command of the all-black 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry to know that honor and morals were very much a part of this struggle.

p.s. When refuting someone else's opinion, please choose your words more carefully in the future. "Ridiculous" is a very derogative word and can be very offensive.

Well, this is a "hot" topic and one not to be taken lightly. The whole point of the commentary when you "pick it apart" is integrity, ethics, self-respect and what we pass on to future generations. Whether you are a single parent, a parent, or just a single individual in the workforce, we all are faced with difficult choices daily. First of all, who is to assume that Mr Josephson hasn't been in a position where he has had to leave a well-paying job based on unethical behavior? And about our political leaders and their personal unethical behavior? There was an outcry and behavior vs. wrongdoing can mean two very different things. When one doesn't have the whole picture, it is easy to place blame and outrage.

But here is the bottom line...you cheat, you steal, you lie..it is wrong and if you are the employee and sit back and knowingly watch it happen, you are guilty by association. It is like telling my children..if you hang out with the wrong friends and even if you don't participate with their behavior you are "guilty by association". So we all have a choice...look for another job and get out or stay and compromise your integrity and when the bottom falls out...hindsight is always 20/20. Wanting to take care of your family is extremely important, but sometimes it is just a lifestyle change. Take care of your basic needs before you do become homeless...as I said, sometimes we are all faced with difficult choices every day and when we are and face the difficult road, we come out stronger, healthier and prouder of ourselves even if we have to go through some storms to get there because even being homeless is better than prison. If you are in prison, you definitely cannot take care of your family from there, and in today's society it is happening more often than we think and the smaller fish are falling harder than the big ones. It all boils down to choices and what side of the fence do you want to be on...the easy one...or the road less traveled..I guarantee you will persevere when you take the road less traveled.

To Anonymous:
Stop playing the victim role and get out of there! Obviously, that company uses fear tactics to keep its employees and who needs that? Start looking for a job now and make the transition into a job you would love to have -- those jobs are out there, you just have to take the initiative and look. ("Seek and ye shall find," comes to mind.)

I've left two jobs in my life where my principles were at stake and haven't looked back since. On one of those jobs, I literally walked out and have zero regrets for doing so.

If, as employees, we condone our employer's behavior, then maybe that's why we've experienced the Enron-type cases. Someone in that company knew something was awry and didn't speak up. Look how many more people were impacted because someone didn't have the guts to speak up sooner.

As employees, we have a right to stand up for what's right and not shun that responsbility.

Goodness. This one hits home for everyone. I can't bring myself to judge a woman trying to keep a roof over her children's head. I've been living out of my car since my former employer cut my hours/salary after I turned my project manager in for instructing me to backdate documents for the State. It wasn't the first time he'd attempted to compromise me and I'd seen unethical and negligent behavior on his part. I had to quit and find a job that didn't pay quite as much but wouldn't continually compromise me. I managed to stay in school and will graduate with an Associate Science in Criminal Justice. With school almost finished, I'm looking for a second part-time job to pay off my debt and it looks like I have a place to move to in May. But standing up to an international company that places "Integrity" among other like-minded attributes on its letterhead and every company publication has cost me dearly. I am physically in worse shape and to put homeless down as residence on job applications isn't a stellar way to improve one's career. With three days notice on the hours cut, I had no way to meet financial obligations that I was struggling to get a handle on.

Was turning him in the right thing? You bet. Was quitting after attempting to correct the situation in house right? Yes. But employers who look to that company for my past performance will not see that I didn't cheat on hours like other employees or that I went above and beyond to get the job done when others dropped the ball or stood up to a corrupt manager. They will see the huge, international, shiny company with "Integrity..." on its letterhead. I'm just the homeless person who owes too much money. The company I work for now is smaller. If I have an issue with the way I'm asked to handle something, I go to my Lieutenant and he's been supportive every time. He understands my situation and he's done everything he could to help. Some of my co-workers probably think I'm stupid for being stubborn about this, but they still try to make my life easier. And I still have ethics issues that I haven't tackled and don't know what to do with. Most likely my former company was charging clients for hours company employees put down but didn't work. I'm not supposed to have direct contact with their clients, but I believe they were knowingly cheated. And there's a safety issue. But if I speak directly with the clients, I also face going into interviews where a prospective employer can say, but you breached confidentiality.

Sometimes I feel like I'm battling the entire world. So I pick one thing at a time I can deal with. And I don't do it as well as I feel I should because I'm tired and don't have resources, but I tackle it and just plug away. Some days I think I'll never make it, but I keep standing up fighting to do the right thing. But I'm single and this woman is on her own with children. There is no way a person can say you have to quit a job or fight the battle for the right thing in the face of unethical practices when you know the probable outcome would be for her to be homeless and possibly not have health care (even she has that now) for her child. The same people who say you have to quit or you can't compromise stand by while companies lies, cheat, steal and use all forms of extortion to keep employees in line.

I can only say to the woman that I'm sorry she's in pain over this. Because it hurts someone who would like to do the right thing and feels trapped into looking the other way to survive. I can only wish her the best of luck and hope she does find another job where she will be appreciated and can support her family. -- And James, your response was positively catty.

I am a single mom of 3 because I caught my husband in a felony and turned him in to the police. It was devastating and the consequences of his behavior are still affecting us over 5 years later. It wasn't easy but I took a stand because my children needed to see that poor choices have deep consequences and I didn't want them learning his behaviors. Then I had to get out there and support my children solely on what I could make.
One job I had to quit because the employer tried to bully me to use what little she paid me to develop new products for her on my own time.
The next job I was fired from because someone lied to cover their own mistakes and blamed me.
The next job the boss's son molested the under-age staff. I reported it to the boss and he blamed the victim, so I did what I had to do and reported to the police, losing that job and ensuring that I couldn't get any unemployment.
The next job I worked 2 weeks at 60 hours a week and then the employer refused to pay me. She simply decided she had better things to do with her money. I could go on and on about the hardships of doing the right thing, but my point is this:
I'm not better than anyone else. But I'd rather go all those years living on nothing again than lose my integrity and make acceptances for wrongdoing so I can have comforts. I will go without all the necessities we lacked again if it means I can stand before my God in the end and say I stood up for the things he taught. My kids are stronger for the trials we all faced. And yes, sometimes I even get a little bitter toward my ex-husband for putting us in this situation, but the only person I can change is me.

There's never a right time to do a wrong thing. I'm sure this sounds simplistic, but in the grand scheme of things, this life is over in a flash. Even when our days pass slowly, the years fly by. The real issue here is making the right choice, regardless of what consequence I have to deal with. The issue here is not earthly consequences - they fade quickly in light of how long eternity will be. But you can never take away what is earned when you determine to do right and continue to make right choices. I don't want to stand before God knowing I compromised standards or morals for ANY reason. I sometimes say about various issues, "It's not life or death; it's not heaven or hell." But in some cases, it is. And when it IS, the most important thing is to do what I'll wish I'd done when I stand before God.

Doug:
My Master's thesis was on ethical justifications for American wars. Honor and morals were present in the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, they just had nothing to do with the BASIS of those wars as Marie declared while waving the flag in our faces to distract us all from the facts. Even Lincoln did not pressure the South to eliminate slavery. In fact, he negotiated a deal that allowed the South to continue slavery as long as the new territories/states could not. And have you forgotten that our Founding Fathers OWNED SLAVES? Even those in the North?

Besides, my reply to Marie was not whether the facts were correct or not. It was the ridiculous notion that any war that America is involved in is automatically deemed just, honorable, and ethical. And as long as you wave the flag, you are justified in attacking those with differing opinions. (A little of her own medicine, if you will.) Those who gave up their lives in past and present wars would be more ashamed of Marie’s stance than of the original poster. “Ridiculous” is the only word that accurately labels Marie’s examples. And while it may be derogatory and offensive – it is accurate.

Taylor:
My response wasn’t catty – it was no more malicious than Marie’s entire attack on the original poster while standing on her soapbox waving the flag in one hand and the Bible in the other. Now, that was catty! (This is the “She started it” defense. Really, I just felt compelled to defend the anonymous poster.)

On another note: I hope you are able to work out your situation. Have you checked with an attorney regarding protection under whistleblower laws? I’m not sure you would be covered, but it wouldn’t hurt. After all, it’s people like you who deserve to be lauded and protected. You should be proud of yourself. I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say WE are proud of you. I will pray that you overcome the obstacles you are facing. Good luck!

Taylor,
Regarding your former company who is billing clients for hours not worked and compromising safety issues. Can you report them to a monitoring agency/ governmental group? As far as confidentiality, I don't see how it breaches that to talk to a client about his own case/account. Although it could be professional suicide.